Chores. Family responsibility? or indentured servants?

The other day I was reading a post on another blog The Big Yellow House ( a MUST read by the way!) about kids and chores....I was amazed at how many differing views there were out there and decided to see what you all think..... I personally was raised doing chores, my mom was pretty set with 4 kids...she didn't have to do much of anything..at least in my young eyes! Now that I am older..(no comments from the peanut gallery..yes that means you JAMES) I wonder constantly how she survived, and I am grateful that she taught me the meaning of hard work, the pride of a job well done, and family team work. I must admit I never thought I would say those words..Especially when I was on my hands and knees cleaning around the bottom of the toilet !! Now that I have my own slave..I mean daughter....I hope I can give her that same sense of pride in a job well done. At first it was hard, as with most things for me...I have such high expectations that it was just easier to do it all myself. But I finally decided that I needed to do what was best for my daughter even if it meant a lot more work for me and a setting aside of my high expectations for a time. For the first while we really had a hard time...I would send her in to do the dishes and 3 hours later she would still be in the kitchen, with water all over the floor and every kitchen towel in wet balls all over the kitchen!!! Then it dawned on me ( sometimes I can be a little slow....I know hard to believe huh?) I had never shown her how to do the dishes or what the end result should look like!! It's like when you first get into a car to drive....you have seen it done a million times but when you have to do it all yourself it's overwhelming!! So after this great mind boggling revelation...we started doing the dishes together, we traded off positions each night, so she got the hang of each thing one at a time...(who knew getting a pan clean could be so hard??) Each night as we finished I would point out all the little things she should look for and make sure were done..like is that spaghetti sauce dripping down the front of the stove a decoration..or should we clean it?? Showing her what the finished product was expected to look like. Then we moved onto another chore...and went through the same process...me walking her through...giving her tips on how to make it quicker and what works best..... Now I have a pretty well trained slave..oops again...I don't know why I keep doing that!!

Of course now came the subject of an allowance...hummm ....I don't get paid...well yes with love and affection...food for my tummy and a warm bed at night...so why should she get any more than me??? But my dear husband had grown up with a small weekly allotment to spend as his heart so desired...and he wished to bless his beloved daughter with the same token of gratitude for a job well done. We wrestled over the decision for a few weeks and another grand revelation came to us!!! We as children had never been taught about how to handle money and we had been wondering how we could teach our daughter about finances, so that she will hopefully not struggle as we did. Yep, you guessed it...1 + 1 =2 Wow amazing how that works ! So this was our grand idea (well not really ours...I am thinkin those idea's probably came from higher up !)
We made a list, she has personal responsibilities ...example getting up on time and being ready to go for the day by 8:30, washing her face, making her bed...ect.
Then she has family responsibilities i.e. keeping her stuff picked up when not in use, putting her dishes in the sink......
And finally she has a list of things she can do to earn money i.e. clean bathroom, clean out car, make Daddy's lunch.
She only gets paid for those items if she has maintained at least 90% of the personal and family responsibilities.

Of course that starts a whole new list...how should she spend her money?!! We have broken it down into.. Giving, Future savings (NOT to be touched!) special savings (for a new game or whatever) and spending...the only one we have told her how much to give to is her giving...she has to do 10% as the Bible instructs us to! The rest she decides on......

Now, I know I have been babbling on for far to long for most of you, but I really feel like this is an area of importance. I was shocked to see how many families don't require anything from their children and they sited many reasons, from my old one of "Its easier to do it myself", "I just can't get my kids to do the chores" , (which I have to ask who's in charge there?) to "I want my kids to enjoy being a kid" My problem with these thoughts are....if not you....who?? Who will teach them to take care of themselves? You will not always be there to clean the dishes and do the laundry....Why not create a sense of personal responsibility, as well as family obligation. We need to be looking out for one another, Jesus calls us to be servants, that starts at home! You don't need to work your kids like your running a sweat shop but I do believe in instilling in them a good work ethic...that isn't something that just happens...it is learned in the home! And no they are not going to like it, but they might enjoy it more if its something you do as a family, and there are ways of making it fun, not to mention that you can show them how it is their chance to bless others!! I have learned that starting early is actually easier....I waited till tawni was almost 9...but when I worked at a daycare...I saw children as young as 2 learning to be responsible for themselves and help others. We taught them when they came in the house..Their shoes and coats were to go right here, and after lunch..they rinsed their plates and put them in the dishwasher, and yes from time to time we had to remind or help get things put away right...but they knew what was expected of them! Now with my nieces I am having them help me (which they love) with the dishes....and we like to surprise mommy by cleaning the house before she comes home from work (showing them it is something special they can do for someone they love!! And they know a happy mommy is a GOOD thing!)

Another point on the subject of them complaining and not doing the work.....they need to know that there is always going to be things in life they don't like...but they have to do!! ( I.E PAP SMEAR..need I say more?) And they are not going to be able to complain to a boss every time they don't want to do something he asks of them ! This also and more importantly goes for our relationship with God ! Yep, believe it or not he is always asking people to do things they REALLY don't want to do....(i.e Jonah & Moses to name a few) We need to learn to listen to authority and do things, even we we don't want to, or don't understand why we have to do them. We need to do them with a servants heart, without having to be asked twice.......

So let me know your thoughts!! I am always up for a good discussion !!